You need a foundation of honesty to build a good relationship on, and flirting is almost all pretending. I so love the attention, but I know it’s superficial. —Brad I want honest, meaningful, and fun conversation. —Matt That if she wants real, honest, mature friends, she needs to be a real, honest, and mature friend.
I know at the end of the day I am not really cared for; I am possibly being used to have her needs met. Flirty conversation is rarely honest or meaningful, even though it can be fun. I would tell her that flirting is not a good basis for a friendship, and certainly not a relationship, and even when it can be added, it should be added in small amounts. Enjoy their company, but don’t seek to get your needs met through them. Respond to their attention, but don’t give your heart away. I want real relationships in my life, and it is hard to get past the pretending stage of a flirt.
Apparently being too eager and actually showing you’re interested is a bad idea and it scares people off. Why You Don’t Need To Play Hard To Get When you’ve met someone new and you really like them it’s easy to get excited, especially if they like you too. People who “love the chase” aren’t looking for anything real, they’re looking to play. Leave something to the imagination and show them why you’re so interesting.
You want to start planning your happily forever after but everyone tells you that you should let them sweat before letting them know your true feelings. They tell you that this person will appreciate you more if they have to chase you. I’ve tried both playing hard to get and being a willing eager participant. Know yourself, share your experiences and what you are passionate about.
I totally understand the reasoning behind playing hard to get.
—Matt Personally, I don’t always notice flirting unless it’s really obvious. It’s fun to stir up the emotions of a girl and fun to get my emotions stirred up . If a girl seems to only be able to relate to me in a flirty way, I don’t really see any point to it. I also don’t want to be distracted; it is very alluring to have a girl focus on me, even if I know it isn’t real, and I like it.
At that point I would say it’s not very attractive. I don’t want to use her to satisfy my desire to get attention.
During the course of being brushed off five times, I had kept my options open.
I was still meeting other eligible bachelors, ones who seemed perfectly able of fitting me into their busy schedules without issue, so I wasn’t too devastated about us ending before we’d even begun.